Defeat is not an option but hypocrisy is for Charlie Sheen

Published: April 04, 2020

“Sheenius” is one word used to describe the failings of a live show hyped so unbelievably that the only outcome could be abject ‘losing’. If defeat is not an option then pandering to audience discontent and changing the format is. Perhaps a title change is needed too.

Charlie Sheen has once again proved that you are only as good as your last show and while the boos and jeers of Detroit must still be ringing in his ears, the former actor/alcoholic/’comedian’ changed tack on Sunday night as his train wreck of a show rolled into Chicago.

After a sleepless night spent re-jigging the format of his show he was greeted by warmer applause and cries of ‘Detroit sucks’ after abandoning such tag lines as, “I’m a leaky bag of mayhem”.

Losing is an option

Leaky bag of mundanity is more apt.

But the real issue is that if defeat is not an option, then changing the show is an admission of defeat and therefore defeat is an option. There’s a law against false advertising isn’t there? Oh the hypocrisy, the profundity of self-preservation. True self-belief and belief in one’s product has never been so far from view.

Had Sheen been starring in a 70’s disaster film he’d have been the guy who got burned to death or stung by a swarm of killer bees as he brushed others aside in a bid to save himself.

So how does the self-professed warlock and drinker of tiger blood (which must surely be upsetting for organisations like PETA) maintain credibility after this?

He adopts the interview technique and blurts out his life story in a series of hardship after hardship stories; playing tenaciously for the sympathy vote in a bid to regain the steely, nervous edge in his game of careerist Russian Roulette.

The chain smoking and incessant hyperbole is vaguely reminiscent of Bill Hicks, and that’s a poor trick he shares with his friend and sympathising leech Alex Jones. While Sheen feeds on the easily entertained, Jones feeds on Sheen’s celebrity status and the gullibility of weak minded conspiracy theorists. Neither come close to filling the huge boots Hicks left behind and both are an insult to his intellect, wisdom, spirituality and humanity.

In financial terms Sheen is #winning, but only by virtue of one of humanity’s greatest killers – curiosity. Taking the money, adding it to his already substantial millions and running to the next town while foolish, fickle followers dole out more of their hard-earned to fund the sex life of a man who prefers to pay for his jollies because he’s bought all he ever needs to buy is the tale of the century.  And there-in lies the crux of the matter - that Sheen can do anything; good, bad or indifferent, and still come out on top because the whole world loves a clown.

He may feel like he’s a champ but in reality he’s no different to a slightly more colourful fish in an overcrowded aquarium; a brief flash of entertainment before Whitespot and Fin Rot sets in.

With more shows to come it remains to be seen how long Sheen will maintain popularity or credibility but changing the show after one bad night proves that defeat was the option and the violent torpedo of truth is merely a baguette of bullshit.

A real warlock would never pander to popular opinion.

Please let us know if you saw the show or your feelings on Sheen’s attempted recovery by leaving a comment.

Read about his most recent comic book capers like bombing the first night of the tour; the Spider Jerusalem act; the rant on Alex Jones’ radio show; getting fired by Warner Bros and winning recipes (for disaster).


Tweet this

Published April 04, 2020 by in Celebrities

One Response to “Defeat is not an option but hypocrisy is for Charlie Sheen”

  1. kcusick

    04. Apr, 2011

    Charlie sure had an eventful weekend, but not nearly as busy as Southwest Airlines’. We’ve got it all covered at The Loop Now, along with the usual daily collection of mirth, whimsy and the truthy, now-almost-ancient “Day in the Life of Charlie Sheen.”

    Reply to this comment

Leave a Reply