Ding Dong the witch is dead: Osama Bin Laden killed again

Published: May 02, 2020

Reports of Osama Bin Laden’s death are flooding the internet, radio, newspapers and television this morning after an American led operation supposedly tracked down the most notorious terrorist ever to live and asked him to surrender before shooting him in the head.

There have been street parties in New York since the news broke at around 2am US time and president Barack Obama, a man incapable of stringing a coherent answer together without auto-cue, claims the operation to bring Bin Laden to justice has taken eight months to co-ordinate; about the same time it takes him to form a lucid thought.

Obama said he ‘had enough intelligence’ to issue the order. I highly doubt that.

His statement this morning read: “A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body.”

No Americans were harmed. Phew, what a relief.

I believe the dialogue for the confrontation went as follows:

US Navy Seal #1: Give up
Osama Bin Laden: No way

One of the greatest terrorists ever to , George W. Bush speaks out on Osama Bin Laden's death

Former president and people’s favourite genocidalist, George W. Bush, said: “This momentous achievement marks a victory for America, for people who seek peace around the world, and for all those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001.”

“The fight against terror goes on, but tonight America has sent an unmistakable message: No matter how long it takes, justice will be done.”

So even after his reign of terror ended, George W. Bush (you decide what the ‘W’ stands for) is still scare mongering and urging the public into believing that ‘The War Against Terror’ is an endless one.

Indeed several world leaders have made sure we remain fearful of attacks by a vengeful CIA, er, I mean Al Qaeda, such as British puppet David Cameron who has put London (and not Wigan or Tamworth) on terror alert.

Cameron said the American operation would ‘bring great relief to people across the world’, and that ‘it is a great success that he has been found and will no longer be able to pursue his campaign of global terror’.

What campaign is that then? He was made the scapegoat for the horrific 9/11 terror attacks (which are still up for debate as an inside job) and since then has done what exactly? Featured in some episodes of South Park and become the new face of ‘Whack-a-Mole’? Scary stuff.

Osama Bin Laden joins the list of whackees in the UN game of Whack-A-Mole

Even the Vatican is throwing its tuppence worth in, saying that it hopes Bin Laden will face the wrath of God for the deaths he has caused, just as prominent Vatican priests and cardinals will have to for all the children they’ve violated.

Alain Juppe, French Foreign Minister told Europe 1 Radio: “Al Qaeda’s structure remains in place, there is a number two and a number three. We have seen this when in Afghanistan a network has been dismantled and right away a replacement appears.”

There certainly is a number two Mr. Juppe and it’s a big, fat juicy steamer as it happens.

And nothing is steaming more so than the back story for this supposed coup. A grey haired old man with a liver complaint hiding out in a Pakistani ranch is confronted by American troops, refuses to surrender and is shot in the head. His body is then taken by said US Navy Seals and is buried at sea “in accordance with Islamic law and traditions”.

Isn’t that convenient. The guy is supposedly responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians (unlike the tens of thousands of uninnocent civilians who died at the hands of UN troops in their search for Bin Laden) and is the leader of the most fearsome terrorist cell ever, and his Islamic laws and traditions are honoured?

Wouldn’t it be prudent of our leaders to provide proof of his death so that we truly can relax about evil doers in the world? Apparently not.

Despite being the most wanted man on the planet, Osama Bin Laden's Islamic laws are honoured. How convenient.

All in all the ‘primary’ UN leaders seem to be building a case for future terror attacks which keeps us subservient peons in check and allows them to carry out heightened security measures in what appears to be a pincer movement against our civil liberties. Rather than alleviating our fears which the death of a supposed tyrant would do, America, Britain and France are instead ramping up the fear mongering with no apparent justification.

You can be sure we’ll be seeing bills pushed through insisting on the need for ID cards and more CCTV, and undoubetedly many a paranoid finger will point towards FEMA camps and martial law. As drastic as the latter two sound, they are sadly becoming a faint reality further down the social train line if things continue as they are.

America’s spiralling debts and crop failures (proving that GMO crops do not yield better harvests than organic crops) mean that civil unrest is just around the corner; panic buying of food and fuel could lead to riots and protests again as prices continue to escalate.
Wait, what am I talking about? Silly me, we just killed the evilest, horibblest, killeriest, terroriestic man alive (dead) - OSAMA BIN LADEN. And here’s the photo to prove it.

Osama Bin Laden is turned into an ash tray by US Navy Seals in Pakistan

And here’s Barack Obama telling us that he ordered it to happen, and that it did happen making him a doer, meaning we can all sleep peacefully at night safe in the knowledge that Super Barack Obama Bin Laden is here to protect us.
Good night World, go back to sleep.


Please vomit your thoughts on the death of Osama Bin Laden into our comment bucket.

Read about Bohemian Grove where the president goes to relax with other men; George W’s condoning of torture; the rise of FEMA camps; the JFK assassination and Ron Paul’s exploratory committee.

images: redactednews.blogspot.com; turbophoto.com; wtfsgoingon.typepad.com; facebook.com

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Published May 02, 2020 by in Celebrities
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2 Responses to “Ding Dong the witch is dead: Osama Bin Laden killed again”

  1. john

    03. May, 2011

    this article is terrible. sorry but your insane spin on the situation its pathetic and unrealistic.

    Reply to this comment
    • Lee

      03. May, 2011

      No need to apologise John, it’s your opinion and I’m glad you shared it. But tell me, what do you think really happened?

      Reply to this comment

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