Macho Hugh Jackman Hospitalises Dolph Ziggler

Published: September 23, 2020

As an actor who is very accomplished at playing himself, Hugh Jackman must be relishing his latest role in Real Steel; a robot melee mecca aimed at kids.

Jackman has only ever been cast in films where he gets to have muscles, be the hero and play, well, Hugh Jackman. So this latest offering is no departure or challenge to the Australian meat head.


Hugh Jackman and his robot chubby. REAL STEEL.

As part of the promotional package for Real Steel Jackman took part in a wrestling match on Monday and enjoyed a very manly tussle with WWE’s overstocked, blonde haired, intellectual heavyweight, Dolph Ziggler who by all accounts came off worst.

Jackman had been hosting the WWE Raw SuperShow and spontaneously human combusted, er, I mean jumped into the ring and slapped Ziggler on the chin.


Blonde haired, overstocked, intellectual heavyweight - Dolph Ziggler.

The fight, like all wrestling matches, was of course completely staged but due to Jackman’s Herculean powers he managed to fracture Ziggler’s jaw.

He’s sooooo macho!

Emotions ran high, balls over-produced and the crowd were stunned into silence for a horrible moment as testosterone flooded the auditorium.


Hugh Jackman stars in gusset dampening WWE fight.

Women’s undies grew damper by the second at the prospect of seeing Hugh Jackman doff his shirt and bare those Hollywood muscles so that he could romp about on a canvas stage with another man and Ziggler took himself off to hospital for an MRI scan, as he reported on his Twitter page:

“MRI scheduled for 1 pm…..possible fractured jaw thanks Batman.”

Looks like Jackman did more damage than first thought. Clearly Ziggler’s confusion about which hero the Aussie played is symptomatic of brain damage, although that may have occurred at birth because anyone who aims to become a ‘celebrated fighter’ is clearly lacking in some vital motor neurons.

Dolph Ziggler - celebrated capacious cranium.


Anyway, a few days later Ziggler returned to Twitter later to confirm the dire news that an actor had managed to break his jaw, saying, “hairline mandibular fracture. Guess i’ll put my chipotle in a blender for a few weeks.”

Looks like Dolph needs to buy a decent blender as I only have to put mine in for about 30 seconds.


The JTC Omniblend will mush Dolph Ziggler's chipotle in seconds.

Meantime, you can see Real Steel at cinemas soon, or if you wait a little longer you can probably download it on torrents and save yourself a high-calorific, wallet-raping nightmare.

Share your macho thoughts on the excessive levels of testosterone in this article by leaving a comment.

Read about Hugh Jackman consuming too much meat, injuring himself on Oprah’s show, Oprah turning vegan as well as other things you can make with a decent blender like smoothies and other raw vegan fare


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Published September 23, 2020 by in Celebrities
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One Response to “Macho Hugh Jackman Hospitalises Dolph Ziggler”

  1. Macho Man Randy Savage

    13. Oct, 2011

    Ohh yeah you’re going nowhere Ziggler!!!!!

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